About a man that falls in love with his phone. “Her” acknowledges the day to day existential quire “What if I’ve already felt everything there is to feel?” Okay I’m losing you…come back…ohhh gawd you’re watching a sausage dog video.
Book: “Flash Boys” by Michael Lewis
Even if you lack rudimentary interest in financial arbitrage read this book for the triumph that is Ronan. An Irish man with a potato famine work ethic who goes from pager salesmen to high frequency trader extraordinaire.
Also the classic Michael Lewis “no one believes in me but Im going to expose the flaws and change the entire system” character (think Sandra Bullock in “The Blind Side” or Jonah Hill in “Moneyball”) is Brad Katsyuama from Canada, eh, Canada (that north north that up top that OVO…which brings me to…)
Musical Act: Drake (See: Mandatory Canadian Content)
Drake aka Aubrey Graham aka the human croissant tries Iggy Aza-level hard to be respected, is legitimately respected, but still manages to be a joke. Drake gave us some Wayne level genius this year (see: the catch up, only, who do you love) and also this which wasn’t even as bad as this.
Biggest Mystery: Taylor Swift. How and why is she one of the best sellers on the planet? How good is Blank Space? How BAD is Shake it Off? If you looked like a 6ft’7 feline rodent why would you wear that shirt?
Trends: Selfies. Prominent eyebrows. Girls with prominent eyebrows taking selfies
TV Show: The Mindy Project
“I can’t be somewhere in three minutes..I gotta shave this hot body from ankles to eyebrows. Also, I have to highlight and contour everything just so you’ll have sex with me. I’m basically CGI.” -Mindy
Comedian: Chelsea Peretti discussing a woman who only makes status updates about her husband: “But she doesn’t call him husband, which would be awesome, she doesn’t call him by his name, which would be great, she calls him by a word that I really feel is one of the more disgusting words in the english language; she calls hime her “hubby” which to me is on par with the N word.”
#icantbreath was the most impactful hashtag. But #illridewithyou completely flipped the script during the Sydney hostage crisis where an “us vs them ” mentality could’ve easily crystallized. The hashtag flew through the internet like a dove prompting beautiful sentiments of tolerance and togetherness round the world.
Athlete: Neymar. For discussion purposes: Ronda Rousey
Twelve year old girls love Ronda Rousey. They love her the same way they love romantic movies with vampires and cancer patients. Being unbeatable in a cage is beseeching unrequited love for the championship belt of teen girl ideals.
Perhaps one day girls will discuss their fantasy MMA entrance songs with the same veracity as their fantasy wedding songs.
Welcome to the dawn of the female celebrity athlete, Mo’ne Mo’ne Mo’ne, Mo’ne