David Beckham is arguably the most beautiful athlete of all time*. But Im not here to discuss what I would give to smell him. I’m here to discuss his legacy*. 
Behold, le Beckham theory:
Beckham announced his retirement to deliberately one up Sir Alex Ferguson’s. That he never really got over being traded from Manchester United. The team whose logo is all over his children. The team he grew up loving.
Am I suggesting Beckham is such a monomaniacal fame whore who aimed to steal Fergie’s lime light? Perhaps. Fergie announced his retirement on May 8 2013 and millions of articles paid homage to his 26 year career characterised by fierce loyalty and hard work. And one week later Beckham announces his retirement and every sports section becomes inundated with his beautiful face. Coincidence?
Everything we know about super good-looking people suggests they do not take rejection well. Everything we know about athletes suggests they hate being told what to do. There is only one man who ever wielded power and used that power to reject Beckham. You think this didn’t cause a grudge?
When you currently google legacy, retired, and Manchester United, Beckham’s name is the first to come up. How convenient.
Every ManU fan seems to be in agreement that Beckham deserved to be traded. But from a purely financial standpoint, who would have sold more jerseys than that dude? Model plus athlete plus talented half of celebrity power couple plus biggest club in the world equals best selling jersey of all time. But we’ll never know. Because Sir Alex Ferguson did not see eye to eye with him, most likely because Beckham was to busy getting lost in his own.
Am I suggesting that Beck used his celebrity, the very thing Fergie despised the most, to passive aggressively send the message “no one is bigger than the club, but I am bigger than you” reminding Fergie that his departure from the game holds more cultural import? Yes. There is at least a 5 percent truth to this.
Or perhaps he just legitimately wanted to retire. But the timing just seems all to perfect. Just like this picture
Dear.God.
*Gina Carano is. Steph Curry is commin on up.
*I’ll be the first to admit I lack the requisite qualifications to construct a soccer theory…the fact that I call it soccer and not football tells you I know next to nil. To myself and many american media saturated folk, soccer is a sport you watch once every four years during the World Cup or if you happen to be in a Portuguese bakery (mmmm portugese tarts)
Bloughts 